Dancing in Paris
by alynwa
Summary: Napoleon has a date. Originally written for the QuoteMe Challenge on LJ.


**THE QUOTE:**

Common sense and a sense of humor are the same thing, moving at different speeds. A sense of humor is just common sense, dancing.

**MADE BY:**

William James

"Honestly, Napoleon! Why do you insist on carrying on with that, that _viper?_" Illya snarled as he watched his partner get ready for his rendezvous. "It makes no sense to me that you endanger your life for sexual gratification."

"Partner Mine, Angelique would not appreciate you referring to her as a snake, though I must admit, certain vipers are beautiful and seem to appreciate the sound of music. I think I'll take her dancing." He laughed at his own joke, but stopped at the sight of Illya's reflection glowering at him in the mirror. "Tovarisch, relax. Our mission was successful, our flight leaves Orly airport tomorrow afternoon and we're here in Paris on a beautiful summer night. And I have no desire to spend it holed up in a sensibly priced hotel room!"

"You will be lucky if Angelique is not dancing upon your grave by tomorrow afternoon," the Russian grumbled.

Three hours later, Angelique and Napoleon were sipping Cognac at a secluded table in Altitude 95, one of the restaurants in the Eiffel Tower. The blonde was strikingly dressed in an ankle length sapphire blue dress with a slit that rose dangerously high. She slid a leg lasciviously up and down Napoleon's. "Thank you, _Cherie, _for dinner. It was absolutely delicious. Perhaps we can go back to my hotel for some additional dessert, _oui?"_

"_Oui bien sûr. __J'espérais__ que vous diriez que. (_Yes, of course. I was hoping you would say that.)"

His dining companion laughed as he helped her on with her shawl, "Ah Napoleon! I don't often agree with that humorless little man you call partner, but he is right: Your French accent is horrible!"

He held his hand over his heart. "Angelique, you wound me."

She stroked his face gently as they walked outside and walked along the path. "I have not wounded anything you will be using tonight." She smiled wickedly and began to move in to kiss him. Suddenly, she stopped. Frowning fiercely, she stepped around Napoleon and said sharply, "Alain! What do you think you're doing?"

Napoleon turned to see a man standing approximately fifteen feet away holding a gun with a silencer. "I knew you would be here with this, this buffoon of an agent. Why, Angelique? _Why _do you _insist_ on seeing him when we could be together? We are both THRUSH, he is the enemy!"

"My God, Angelique, I had a very similar discussion with Illya earlier."

She ignored Napoleon's banter and turned her fury onto the interloper. "Because you disgust me! You are weak and will never rise in the organization!" She stopped to reach into her purse and pull out her lipstick and compact. As she reapplied her lipstick she said calmly, "You think I'm a fool that you can seduce so you can ride my coattails to the Central Committee. Never!"

"Let's see how you feel when he is lying dead at your feet!" he yelled as he raised his gun just as Angelique pointed lipstick and pushed the end. Two distinct sounds, a _pop _and a _phfft, _happened simultaneously. Alain dropped to the walkway with blood gushing from his neck. Angelique examined her lipstick gun. "It's not supposed to make that _phfft_ noise," she complained.

"It did not make that noise; my weapon did," Illya said as he stepped from the shadows, "I shot him with a sleeper dart. Of course, your bullet to the throat trumped it."

"I'm glad to see you, Partner Mine."

The woman turned around to look at the brunet. "Why? I took care of the situation."

"Just like a THRUSH; you use a cannon when a fly swatter will do. Napoleon, I realize you had another ending to your evening planned, but I strongly suggest that you leave with me now and leave this…mess for THRUSH to clean up, if they even bother."

Angelique sniffed, "I hate to agree with that rude, humorless Russian, but I do. We should all leave now and as for Alain, he is no one and I will treat him as such." She dropped a quick kiss on Napoleon's cheek. "Take the next elevator, Darling," she said as she hurried past.

Fortunately, there were not a lot of people on the Tower so all three agents were able to leave without incident. When Napoleon and Illya returned to their room, Illya began silently stripping in preparation for getting into bed. Napoleon watched him sling his clothing carelessly onto a chair before pulling out a magazine and getting under the covers. After a moment, Illya looked at him. "What?" he snarled.

"Thanks for following me. I know you do not trust her, but you have to admit Angelique was not the danger."

"No, this time the danger only _followed_ her. One of us has to have common sense about that woman. She is like a bad penny."

Napoleon had gotten undressed and into his own bed. "That's true; we both know she will turn up again somewhere."

"And you and she will do your dance of sex and fun and I will be the voice of reason and common sense. Again."

"That is why we're partners. Goodnight."


End file.
